"There is a set of men lately sprung up amongst us, who endeavor to distinguish themselves by ridiculing everything that has hitherto appeared sacred and venerable in the eyes of mankind.  Reason, sobriety, honor, friendship, marriage are the perpetual subjects of their insipid raillery; and even public spirit, and a regard to our country, are treated as chimerical and romantic.  Were the schemes of these anti-reformers to take place, all the bonds of society must be broken..." -David Hume

God's rain.

I'm filled with gratitude to God, and I want to share with all of you dear friends who read this blog!  I need to let you know that I know God is here for us personally, in every moment, in every situation, in whatever emotion and circumstance we find ourselves.

In my journal this semester I've been writing, writing, and writing some more about how I've seen God in my life; the more I look around me, the more I see His blessings. I see His infinite, unconditional love for all of us.

I want to testify that because God loves us, He makes us strong AFTER we demonstrate faith.  Moroni explains this principle so well in one of his most beautiful prayers: "...thou [God] workest after men have faith.  For thus didst thou manifest thyself unto thy disciples; for after they had faith, and did speak in thy name, thou didst show thyself unto them in great power.  And I also remember that thou hast said that thou hast prepared a house for man, yea, even among the mansions of thy Father, in which man might have a more excellent hope; wherefore man must hope, or he cannot receive an inheritance in the place which thou hast prepared" (Ether 12: 30-32)

God manifests Himself to us in our lives after we demonstrate faith; we first have hope and we then act in hope--then the blessings come.  But sometimes the blessings don't come right away, because often God wants us to stretch ourselves to our limit. If God didn't stretch us and let us struggle and grow, how would we grow in the first place?  Even throughout all the pain, though, He's there all along, shouldering our burdens with us.  Sometimes it's so hard we don't even realize He's here; we cry and plead, and we think we're getting nowhere.  But after we continue to hang in there and get by--doing the best we can--things come together.  That's when God pours blessings like RAIN!  And it's not a sprinkling of blessings; it's a STORM of blessings.  I'm experiencing this right now.  God is flooding my life with blessings.  And the greatest blessing of all is that He's given me so much of His grace over the past few months that I've grown in ways I can't explain.  He's changing me.  Our souls are, as the scriptures say, like soft clay being shaped by a potter.

Our Savior, Jesus Christ, is our Potter; He died so we might live--and not live in sorrow, but in HAPPINESS as we live in His love, experiencing the miracles of His light and peace. :)

"great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds"

a happy end-of-semester to you!

last-week-of-school/finals survival tool: private mini dance parties. 

(definition of PMDP)
noun. 5-10 minutes of pure awesomeness including, but certainly not limited to, crazy dancing all by yourself.

PMDPs usually work well when no one else is home.

The best PMDPs tend to include things you usually don't do in front of other people (jumping on the bed, obnoxious singing, outlandish dance moves, and so on)

Why you might love PMDPs:

1. They're short enough to give you a break without taking too much time away from your studying

2. You can dance as weird as you want without attracting unwanted gazes from people who wouldn't appreciate your dance moves properly 

3. You can freely listen to artists you really love but pretend you don't in order to avoid humiliation (my newfound love, J. Bieber, for example)

4. You'll find you develop favorite PMDP songs you keep coming back to--and every time you hear those songs in the future, you'll fondly remember that one PMDP party that one time before you took that one final and how that one song helped you ACE that final.  yeahhhhhhhh babbbbyyy

Really good PMDPs might include the following: 

saturday night sing-along

Once in a while in the late hours of the night, Ariel, Elise and I end up looking up random videos on youtube and singing along.  We lose track of time and forget about homework.  These have been some of my favorite moments all semester :D

Here's a little sampling of some favorites for your listening enjoyment. As you can tell, we are proud lovers of Disney ;)  I think I love Disney more now than I did as a kid.

spirituality.

What is spirituality?  What does it mean to you?  Yesterday a friend told me his definition: "forsaking passions and possessions in order to come closer to God." He said, "That's sort-of Hinduism, but it applies.  I need to do more research."

I agree with Charles; spirituality certainly does entail forsaking passions and possessions as we work to become closer to God. And I also agree that all of us, no matter what religion, need to do more research on the concept.  I need to make time to ponder my own spirituality.  

I believe love is the foremost quality in spirituality.  It's the very basis of the two great commandments to 1) Love God with all our souls and 2) Love our neighbors like unto ourselves.  And I believe love is the element that motivates us to even become spiritual in the first place.  Certainly love is required before we can truly forsake those passions and possessions Charles spoke of. 

Learning to love God, ourselves, and others—and thus progress spiritually—requires a change of heart, not just a change of behavior but a change of attitude.  Life, rather than a continual checklist of to-do activities such as praying and scripture studying, gives us the opportunity to change not only behaviors but foremost, the way we think and feel.  When our actual thoughts and our intents change, we become like the Lord in mind and heart.  We learn to love as He does as He imparts His grace and changes us. 

Spirituality, then, includes forsaking passions and possessions as we come to love God.  If love of God does not come first in our hearts, the effort to forsake ungodly behaviors and characteristics means little—because it’s not done in the right attitude.  We cannot become like God until we begin thinking more like Him.  

As a consider questions like How can I think more like God? How can I truly grow in love? How can I change my attitude? I hope to share some of my personal discoveries on this quest to grow in spirituality and become more like God.

joy and gratitude, living in the present

I have a bad habit of looking forward to the future rather than focusing on the present.  I'm always pretty excited about what's coming up in my life, but I seem to have a hard time being excited about the day I'm actually living in.

The last few weeks I've been working especially hard on changing this, and it has been FANTASTIC.  It was hard at first (changing behaviors is always hard) but I'm getting better.

I had a great conversation with my aunt about learning to love the present, and to live in the present, without letting thoughts constantly wander, or thinking about what you're going to do when you finish what you're currently doing.

The trick is to stop thinking about finishing tasks, but to start embracing each moment and finding joy.  I've realized we can find joy in just about anything. If we're washing dishes, we can love that we have hands to do things!  We can love feeling bubbly dish-soap between our fingers.

I know every moment isn't gonna be peachy.  We can't find joy in every thing. There are times to grief, times to feel hurt, and times to really dislike that one school assignment that we just can't seem to wrap our minds around.  But I do believe we can find joy in most things, even the mundane things in life--and I think the happiest people have mastered this trick.

THE STATION

by Robert J. Hastings

Tucked away in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision. We see 
ourselves on a long, long trip that almost spans the continent. We're
 traveling by passenger train, and out the windows we drink in the passing
 scene of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at a crossing, of 
cattle grazing on a distant hillside, of smoke pouring from a power plant,
 of row upon row of corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of mountains 
and rolling hills, of biting winter and blazing summer and cavorting 
spring and docile fall.



But uppermost in our minds is the final destination. On a certain day at a
certain hour we will pull into the station. There will be bands playing, 
and flags waving. And once we get there, so many wonderful dreams will come
true. So many wishes will be fulfilled and so many pieces of our lives will
finally be neatly fitted together like a completed jigsaw puzzle.

How 
restlessly we pace the aisles, damning the minutes for loitering...waiting,
waiting, waiting, for the station.  

However, sooner or later we must realize…The true joy of life is the trip. The 
station is only a dream. It constantly outdistances us.



“When we reach the station, that will be it!" we cry. Translated it means,
 "When I'm 18, that will be it! When I buy a new 450 SL Mercedes Benz, that
 will be it! When I put the last kid through college, that will be it! When
 I have paid off the mortgage, that will be it! When I win a promotion, that
 will be it! When I reach the age of retirement, that will be it! I shall 
live happily ever after!"



Unfortunately, once we get It, then It disappears. The station somehow 
hides itself at the end of an endless track.



"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 
118:24: "This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be
 glad in it." It isn't the burdens of today that drive men mad. Rather, it
 is regret over yesterday or fear of tomorrow. Regret and fear are twin 
thieves who would rob us of today.



So, stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, climb more 
mountains, eat more ice cream, go barefoot oftener, swim more rivers, 
watch more sunsets, laugh more and cry less. Life must be lived as we go 
along. The station will come soon enough. 



i think my heart's melting

A Streetcar Named Desire

I can hardly believe I lived 20 years without ever reading anything by Tennessee Williams. I read Streetcar last night for one of my classes and fell in love. Then I watched the movie and fell in love all over again. It's been running through my head and I can't get it out. You've gotta read the play if you haven't! And then watch the movie. Don't spoil it by watching the movie first! I know I'm tempting you with the trailer, but it's so worth the read first!

ideas for this weekend

Don't know what to do this weekend? Ditch the mundane (tv, parties, fb surfing, whatever) and try something fresh:

1.  Visit a nursing home. There are few things as rewarding as helping others feel loved.

2. Did you know the BYU women's locker room has a sauna?  (I'm assuming the men have one, too.)  Take some time for yourself and relax in the heat.

3. Grab a friend, roommate, or significant other and try partner yoga. 

4. Philosophy lover? Give your brain a workout and read about Natural Law.  Try The First Grace: Rediscovering the Natural Law in the Post-Christian World and Natural Law: Reflections on Theory & Practice

5. It's getting warmer outside!  No excuse to stay in :) Pick a race to train for and hit the pavement.

6. Bake a batch of healthy cookies for the neighbors you don't know yet.

7.  Attend different worship services (besides your own faith) around your community.

8. Get artsy and head to a museum for inspiration. The Carl Bloch exhibit, currently at BYU, is fantastic!

happy weekend! <3

Don't you love it when you discover you can do something that you couldn't do before?!

Why not take some risks?  Why not embrace some new challenges?  Take a class you know will be hard, but that you want to take because you're interested--Forget grades and learn for the sake of learning!  Pick up a new hobby that isn't exactly your forte.  Go to that hard-core workout class that you can't get through right now, but one day might be able to.  Apply for that study abroad you've been putting off because you don't know if it could actually happen.  Make that special goal you've been avoiding because you don't know if you really have the self disciple to carry it out--Choose to forget your fears and make up your mind to do what it takes.

Push your boundaries.  Reach for opportunities, and God will make a way for you to accomplish new things.  I know He will.

I love you all! :)

these phases in life

Sometimes I go through phases where I feel like I'm in a "rut."  But the great thing is, I always get out of the rut (even if it takes a while) and upon getting out, I find that I've become a better person.

Anytime I get in an off-mode, I know it's because either 1) There is something wrong with my attitude or 2) I'm supposed to learn a specific lesson.  Actually, it's usually both of these concepts combined.  So I have these awful--yet really wonderful--opportunities to do some serious self-evaluating and then find out how to correct the problems I'm facing at the time.  In that process I always learn something very particular that I could not have learned unless I went through the pain myself.  There are important lessons we can learn from others without having to make mistakes ourselves or venture beyond our comfort zones, but many lessons--and usually the ones which are most rewarding to learn--are lessons we have to learn on our own.  And it gets messy.  

I really do love that about life, though!  The more I live, the more I realize just how much I can change and progress, and as I make changes, I figure out who I am.  Or maybe I just create the person I want to become.

Sometimes I'd like to see myself as God sees me.  I believe our potential, as creations made by God, is limitless.

Life for me right now is all about figuring who I am and creating the person I want to become.  I'm trying to figure "stuff" out.  I'm trying to understand the core of what drives and motivates me.  What do I value?  Why do I do what I do?  What's the point?

I'm also working on spirituality.  I have been religious for years now, but am I spiritual?  Am I really in-tune with God, nature, and humans?  Do I listen?  Do I think outside of the immediate, physical world?  Do I make quiet time to commune with God and nature?  Do I make time for other people?

Why am I here and what am I supposed to learn?

For me, these questions are really quite exciting--they're a mess in my brain right now, but sometimes, in rare little bits of revelation, certain things click and make sense!  Of course, then more questions come and my mind starts getting messy again and I start the procress all over...

and then--after sweat, blood & tears--
I learn something new

:)

red lentil soup recipe

Since I've gone *mostly* vegan these days, I've been eating lots of yummy lentil soup.  Try this recipe from Bob's Red Mill--it's my favorite lately, and Ariel also loves it, so you can trust both of our opinions--it's so good and so, so easy! I use coconut oil instead of olive oil.  And only 1 TBSP! Coconut oil is great for your skin and has many other benefits.  Also, you can add more spinach. Lots more.  Trust me, it's delicious.

Rachel's Red Lentil Soup
Contributed by Bob's Red Mill Natural Foods 

Ingredients 1 Onion, chopped  1/4 cup Olive Oil  2 Carrots, diced  2 stalks Celery, chopped  1 tsp. Oregano  1 Bay Leaf  1 tsp. Basil  1 (14.5 ounce) can crushed Tomatoes  2 cups Red Lentils  8 cups Water  1/2 cup Spinach, rinsed and thinly sliced  2 Tbsp. Vinegar  Salt and Pepper to taste
Directions
In a large soup pot, heat oil over medium heat. Add onions, carrots and celery; cook and stir until onion is tender. Stir in garlic, bay leaf, oregano and basil; cook for 2 minutes. Stir in lentils and add water and tomatoes. bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for at least 1 hour. When ready to serve. Stir in spinach and cook until it wilts. Stir in vinegar and season to taste with salt and pepper and more vinegar is desired. Makes 6 servings.

I think the desire to know and become and create is within each of us but we so often forget what we are destined for.  That's tragedy and a life wasted.

I want to reach my hand out into the expanse and scoop out a handful of stars.

Then I want to sprinkle them across the galaxy and watch them fall like drops of rain.

I want to create worlds.  It's so beautiful and epic, my epitome of a dream.

See?  This is why I can't sleep.  Thoughts, beautiful thoughts, always on my mind.

men on the big screen.

Why has it become a trend in the film industry to portray men as small-minded, ignorant, hypocritical, unfaithful, lazy, deceitful, selfish idiots?  Do I sound a little harsh?  Think about the majority of male characters on tv shows and movies, take a moment to evaluate their character, and you just might come to agree with me.

Women are always talking about how men need to step up to the plate, but how can we expect them to raise the bar when there is no bar in popular, modern media?  Maybe one of the reasons trashy examples of men on the screen bother me is because I'm wondering how I'm going to raise my future sons to be constant, honest, respectful, intelligent, charitable, hard-working, refined men when they have so many bad examples to look to in the media.

I want Truth.
yes, give me Excellence. 
pure and ceaseless Love 
Undiluted. 
Fire? Bring Fire.
Brilliant days and starry nights beg
Timelessness,
enduring Existence.

After a week of writer's block, anxiety, temper tantrums, desperate phone calls home to my poor mother venting my frustration, questioning my existence, pestering my professors, seriously considering changing my major, slowly losing my sanity, burying myself in deep, unanswerable questions of theology, petitioning/begging God for some kind of answer--I have FINALLY come up with a relevant thesis about George Herbert's poetry that I believe in and care to write about and (dare I say it?) LOVE.


This is satisfaction and happiness.  Don't you love it when you work so hard for something, push yourself to the edge of your ability, and then when you're almost sure you will fail, suddenly things come together?!!!! Then you look back and think, "Woah, that was rough, but I could do it again," and then you keep moving forward in life so you end up having those experiences over and over and over, whether they be intellectual, spiritual, or physical.  


Refinement.  

miss you, grandpa.

Grandpa with Eric, Jared, Chris, Alini, Christi,
Kaitlin (had black eyes from a broken nose), me, Shalane
-Island Park, summer 2006

Grandpa Carson died a few months ago.  I love him and think of him often.

Lyrae Van Clief-Stefanon.

She came yesterday to BYU for a poetry reading, but I had class during the time she was here so I missed out.  One of my professors gave us a link to hear some of her poetry online and I've been listening to it tonight and loving it.  Check it out here.  Also, thank you, Vimeo, for this:


Lyrae Van Clief-Stefanon reads at the 2009 Natinal Book Awards Finalist Event from National Book Foundation on Vimeo.