christmas wish list.

dear Santa, please bring me:


new running shoes
a haircut (3.5 months in a foreign country will put this at the top of anyone's Christmas list) 
the new moosewood cookbook (check it out here)
a blizzard-free, delay-free flight home on dec 16th 


love,
jenna

christmas eve 2009

20th birthday.

 On Nov 28 I said goodbye to being a teenager.  This is gonna be my best year yet!! I'm SO excited just to be alive right here, right now--ya know? My goals for this year of life are:

-Rejoice every day

-Do the best with what I have each day

-Work on losing my life for Christ (Matthew 10:39)

-Get better at loving myself & other people

-Learn something new each day & apply it  

nov 2010 in Galilee 

10-06-10

My study spot is the one table just outside the library.  Someone’s playing the piano in another room.  It’s a waltz.  I leave the table to see who’s playing.  It’s Marilyn.  I head back to my table, thinking about how I want to start playing again.  I see Sister Ohman; she’s crying.  We stop and she speaks of tender, sacred moments.  We embrace.

And now--(when is now?)

Now I’m having a tender moment listening.  Listening to the music, the voices, the steps of friends and faculty, and the water splashing from the big fountain on the next floor down.  I’m happy just to be, to feel, to hear, to see, to dance, to close my eyes—to feel the spirit around me and know that God is. 

This is sacred. 

update.

hey guys, i found out today that you should address letters to me like this:

Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies
Jenna Carson
P.O. Box 19604
Jerusalem, 91196 ISRAEL

Also, packages have to be sent to a different address:


Jerusalem Center for Near Eastern Studies
Jenna Carson
Located on Mt. Scopus
Near Augusta Victoria Hospital
Jerusalem, 91196 ISRAEL

contact info.

I know I said I was going to keep my blog updated while in the Holy Land, but I've changed my mind for personal reasons.  Basically I'm just tired of the internet/social networking, so I'm choosing to remove it from my life for a while.  You can send me snail mail to this address:

P.O. Box 19604
Jerusalem, 91196 ISRAEL 

Letters take about two weeks to get there; packages take 3-4 weeks. 

I'll be home December 17th and I'm sure I'll have lots to blog about then. :)  I hope you all have an amazing next few months, filled with wonder and curiosity, adventure and courage, love and gratitude, and freedom to be whoever you want to be, with no reservations or regrets.  God bless!

Invictus.

William Ernest Henley

1849–1903

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

fohawk!

All summer I've been wanting to cut my hair short enough to do a fohawk, but I figured I should wait until AFTER the study abroad.  Wednesday night I had a hair appt scheduled just to do a regular cut and color before I leave, but that whole day I couldn't get that darn fohawk off my mind! I kept telling myself, "Don't do it, Jenna, don't do it!!!"  But I'm glad I didn't listen, because isn't it AMAZING?

angels.

Sometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest girl alive, because there are so many angels in my life!  All you family and friends who support and love me--thank you for being my "angels".  

I keep thinking how I hope I can give back as much as I have received from the people in this world.  There will be chaos throughout life, but there will always be good people to lean on.  Comforting, isn't it?  <3  

Frabjous day is on the way!

I'm leaving for my Jerusalem study abroad on Tuesday!  I'll be staying in the BYU Jerusalem Center until December 16th.


I *think* there are about 90 students going this semester.  We're all taking 15 credit hours.  Here are my classes:

Jerusalem Center Field Trips
Ancient Near Eastern Studies
New Testament Studies
Old Testament Studies
Arab and Islamic Civilization
Jewish Civilization
Intro to Arabic 

I'm not going to have my cell phone or be on facebook after Monday, but I will be updating this blog so you can see what I'm up to!  I'll be able to explore Israel, Jordan, and Egypt so hopefully there will be some really SWEET(!) posts coming up :) Shalom!

tablerock.

after living in idaho for 6 years, i still hadn't hiked tablerock!! soooo on wednesday, lyndi, krista, taletha, shayna, sammy, and i had a girls day and hiked it.  it was so fun!! we went up the face and down huckleberry trail.  look at this amazing view of the tetons :)

annie griffiths, photographer.

annie griffiths has spent years traveling the world while working for national geographic.  she's taken some of the most beautiful, emotional pictures i've ever seen.  i admire her work and i admire that she didn't let her career stop her from having a family.  what an inspiring, talented woman.  i'm in love with these photos: (see more of annie's work here) 

tiff's challenge.

photo by kyuen13 via flickr

my good friend, Tiffany, recently posted a blog with a challenge to stop using the word "hate."  I have taken Tiff's challenge to "make a list and choose love over hate, appreciation over criticism, tolerance over intolerence, happy over sad, positive over negative, all of it and more."  (Read Tiffany's full post here.)

here is a short list of just a few things i love: 

jenna's love list
1. days that begin with prayer
2. literature classes
3. old musicals: hello dolly, sound of music, fiddler on the roof, guys and dolls, camelot, etc
4. early morning runs with friends
5. correct grammar
6. going to the temple
7. people who inspire me
8. playing the piano
9. painting my toenails bright yellow
10. foot massages
11. dancing
12. my job
13. going to rigby lake
14. journaling
15. summertime
16. the stage of life i'm in right now
17. clear skin
18. cute glasses
19. white capris
20. the sky at night
21. bargains
22. ice cold water

rees.

today at work, Rees threw her arms around my neck and exclaimed, "I LOVE JENNA!!" as she gave me a big, wet kiss on the cheek.  do i have the best job ever or what?  seriously. i'm gonna miss this.

for all seasons.

in life there will always be people who disappoint us.  they'll make promises and break them, they'll fail to come through when we need them most.  but that's not all; there will be many who hurt us on a deeper level.  these are the people who will pretend to be our friends, but then--in jealousy, bitterness or selfishness-- will stab us in the back.  they'll lie, manipulate, betray, laugh at our failures, try to make us feel like nothing. 

eventually, we'll come to understand who our true friends are. there may not be very many; among the thousands of people we come to know, there will be comparatively few we can really depend on.  and unfortunately, even those few select family members and friends can change.  human nature seems to have a problem with consistency, doesn't it?

where are the men and women "for all seasons?"  where are the Thomas Mores?  what happened to loyalty, integrity, and devotion?  are we too distracted to dedicate ourselves to others?  are we too selfish to think only of what we can get from people before we think about what we can give to people? 

all around me i see relationships crumbling, whether they be friendships, romantic relationships, or family relationships.  i watch people i care about try to find the answers to fix these relationships.  they read books, go to therapists, get professional opinions--but in the end, after all the searching for answers, the problem always comes down to one thing: selfishness.  i am making a bold statement here, but it makes sense.  All problems in relationships stem from selfishness. think about it.  if we want to build better relationships, we need to first change our own selfishness to self less ness.

because i never want to be a person who disappoints or purposely hurts someone else, because i want to be the friend and the lover and the family member "for all seasons," i am going to work on being less selfish. i pray i'll be more like Thomas More or any other person who lived a life based on principles and integrity.  these are the people who build solid relationships.  these are the people who understand how to be there for others in the way that Christ is here for us.  these are the people who get what life is about.

pink and other things.

putting pink in my hair was on my to-do list.

(i had blue in my hair sophomore year in high school...
need to go find pics of that..it was fun) 

what things are on YOUR life to-do list?  

my dad ordered this book for me called Achieving Your Life Mission, and i've really enjoyed the read.  it has re-inspired me to make my dreams happen now.  i don't want to look back and have regrets of opportunities i failed to take because the pathways were hard. 

soon i'll be going to Israel to fulfill my dream of studying abroad at the BYU Jerusalem Center.  A year ago I didn't know if I'd be able to make this happen, but after lots of planning and praying to know what the next step in my life should be, I realized it was this.  And I'm so excited!  My passport came in the mail last week. 

God helps us accomplish the things we're supposed to accomplish.  I thought I'd have to take out a student loan for this study abroad, and I was really worried about it, but everything worked out.  I came home for the summer and got a full-time job.  Then I got a letter in the mail informing me that I received a scholarship and a grant for the trip--I had no idea I'd get either of those.  I am so blessed!

I know God wants us to experience life to the fullest and grow to our greatest potential--to find our life missions and achieve them.  And that's a happy thing to know :D

happy father's day!

10 things i love about my padre:

1. he's loyal to my mom

2. he's always willing to help other people

3. he makes me laugh

4. he cleans the kitchen, does laundry, etc.

5. he encourages my dreams

6. he's always doing nice things for me

(like buying my favorite bread,

mentioning something I'd be interested in, killing spiders)

8. he works hard

9. he's always trying to be a better person

10. he loves God

summer update.

being home for the summer has been great!  in fact, it's been so great that i've neglected the blog.  here's what's been goin' on:

1. can i just say i have the most amazing family? it's fun to be around them again. here are some pics from a little trip to island park over memorial day weekend. 

2. i've already gotten sick twice this summer.  great start, eh?  i had a nasty cold for a couple of weeks and now i have this weird throat infection thing--i'm on antibiotics now and am starting to feel better--i can't wait to get back to work!

3. work? yes, i got a job about 2 weeks after i got home, which is a huge blessing considering the fact that jobs are so hard to find lately. i'm a nanny and i love it! i get to spend time with the funnest kids around (more blogs to come later).  these are pics from Rees' 6th birthday party.  She's on the far left and that's her dad, Jared, helping the girls make pizza. and check out that cake! 

4. ariel just finished her london study abroad and is heading back home to maryland today!  she sent me postcards from the amazing places she traveled to all over europe. here's ariel in glencoe scotland.

so there are my updates.  hope everyone is having a great summer so far! <3

Li-Young Lee

I became interested in Li-Young Lee's poetry after my American Lit professor played a recording of Lee speaking at a BYU forum.  I loved the recording so much that I downloaded it onto my ipod and now I listen to it on nights when I have so many thoughts running around in my head that I can't still my mind and fall asleep.  I was going to give you the link so you could hear the forum, but for some reason it's not online anymore.  This isn't the same, but if you go here you can push the play button and hear Lee in an interview.

Below is a poem Lee read at the forum that I can't find online.  Enjoy  :)

"Living With Her"

She opens her eyes
and I see.
She counts the birds and I hear
the names of the months and days.
A girl, one of her names
is Change. And my childhood
lasted all of an evening.
Called light, she breathes, my living share
of every moment emerging.
Called life, she is a pomegranate
pecked clean by birds to entirely
become a part of their flying.
Do you love me? she asks.
I love you,
she answers, and the world keeps beginning.

happy birthday, Mom!

My mom turns 50 today!  
But you could never tell cause she's so beautiful.

Here's to you, Mom
(the most amazing woman I know)

Thank you for your example.

 Thank you for being so good at loving people. 

 Thank you for teaching me about 

optimism, tenacity, unconditional love, 
hard work, and God.

Thanks for making me laugh.

Thanks for taking care of me when I'm sick. And when I'm not sick. 

Thank you for listening to me cry and dream and plan and figure stuff out. 

Thank you for giving so much of yourself to the world.  

commit to virtue 5k.

This morning we ran the Commit to Virtue 5k.  It was a good time!  

David, Jarom, Jenna, Jarom bein cheesy :) 

30 day challenge: no complaints.

it's easy to complain.

we could complain about the weather, 

complain about our homework assignments,

complain about that long day at work, 

complain about other people. 

etc. etc. etc. 

but we can't change the weather.

there's a reason we do work.

and other people don't deserve to be judged & complained about. 

so why whine about all the things we whine about 

when we could choose to point out all the good things instead? 

i'm wondering: what would it be like if we all went 30 days without complaining?  

it might be hard to break the habit at first.

-no more pessimistic facebook status updates

-no more talking about how _____ ticked us off/hurt our feelings/offended us today

-no more wishing away the day, hoping that something better might come along tomorrow

(you get the idea) 

maybe by the end of that 30 days, we would like ourselves better.

we'd start accepting the things we can't change

and changing the things we can--

as opposed to being babies about things that don't go our way.

so my challenge for myself 

is to choose to be optimistic.  

and say goodbye to every. single. complaint. 
for 30 days! 

sun, i love you.

This is the weather we've been having lately:

It's pretty!  But brrrrrr.

So we were oh so happy when the 

sun decided to grace us with his presence!  

Ariel & I have been having picnics between classes :)

P.S. I'm addicted to spinach wraps from L&T. 

ariel's birthday!

This was such a good weekend, not only because of general conference and Easter, but because of Ariel's 19th birthday on Saturday.  We had a birthday celebration/girls night and it was soOoOoOoo much fun!  I hope you had a good birthday, Ariel!  Thanks for everything.  I know we joke about how we survived 18 years without each other, but really, I don't know what my life would be without you.

Other news: School is wrapping up--only 7 days left before finals--and we're all feeling stressed around here.  I've been immersed in writing a paper about Eugene O'Neill's play, "Long Day's Journey Into Night."  Harold Curlman said, "O'Neill not only lived intensely but attempted with perilous honesty to contemplate, absorb and digest the meaning of his life and ours."  Tell me about it!!  I just wish he came to happier conclusions.  I don't believe we're helpless victims.  And I'm trying to find evidence in this play that O'Neill didn't believe that either.  BAH! 

happy easter sunday!

Today we celebrate our Savior's perfect life, death, and resurrection.  Jesus said, "Because I live, ye shall live also" (John 14:19).   I'm so thankful for what He has done for me!  I'll never be able to repay Him, but as a Christian I can always ask myself what it means to be a follower of Christ.  It's remembering Him, keeping His commandments, and learning to love people the way He does.  I hope you have a Happy Easter :)  You can read an Easter message that I really enjoy here.

photo: Simon Dewey's painting, "He Lives"

it's cold.

alice in wonderland.

My dad gave me this magnet when I went to college <3

Hollywood produces too much trash.  So I’m really excited to tell you that “Alice In Wonderland” is amazing!! I’m biased cause I love Tim Burton & Johnny Depp—but even Jordan, who didn’t think he’d like the movie cause it looked “creepy,” really enjoyed it.  

The acting, of course, was phenomenal.  (I'm excited to see Mia Wasikowska in “Jane Eyre”).  The filmmakers did an excellent job creating Wonderland—I was particularly fond of all the fuzzy animals running around all over the place.  The plot was good and the message was cute.  I loved it when Alice announced, “This is MY dream; I decide what happens.”  Go see this movie!! :D

a day with jordan.

Today after my classes, Jordan came to visit.  It was the last time I'll see him before he leaves for his mission--I'm gonna miss this boy! We had a really nice day, even though it was snowing!!  (Please come soon, warm weather.)  We went shopping, played mini golf, went to Salt Lake, saw "Alice In Wonderland," and ate at Red Lobster.  The best part was just having all day to talk and catch up--Jordan and I don't see each other very often, but whenever we do, we always pick up where we left off.  Don't you love people in your life who are like that?  Certain things change as your lives move in different directions, but your friendship stays the same.

a spiritual weekend.

Since it was the weekend before Easter, there were a lot of activities going on around campus that helped me focus on Jesus and prepare to celebrate the true meaning of Easter--Christ's sacrifice for us--this upcoming Sunday.

Ariel and I woke up early Saturday morning to go to the Provo temple. Then we went to BYU's Easter Conference.  We got to hear speakers and listen to some beautiful music numbers.  My favorite talks were entitled "Worshipping Christ" and "What the Atonement Meant for Jesus."  After the conference, Ariel and I spent the day in the library, and that night we went to a Passover Seder Service.  I've never celebrated the Passover before, so I learned a lot!  It was really cool participating in the whole ceremony.

Sunday I went to church as usual, and later that night there was a special devotional where we heard from Doctor Skinner, a professor of ancient scripture here at BYU.  He spoke about The Last Supper and focused on John, chapters 13-17.

This whole weekend was really special.  It reminded me I need to be better about keeping the Savior in my thoughts each day.  I'm really excited to celebrate Easter this weekend.  I hope we can all remember the true meaning of the holiday, and think about what Jesus Christ means personally to each of us.

crushes.

I'm not sure who I love more--Gilbert Blythe or Mr. Darcy. 

you two.

i love you two.  you make me laugh.  

kate and shalane got in an accident driving back home to idaho on sunday.  kate fell asleep while driving.  she had been going 80 mph (cause the speed limit was 75) and she ran off the road into a ditch.  it's amazing that the girls are alright for the most part--shalane came out fine and kaitlin is better than she should be considering the accident's impact.  she fractured her back and will be a in a brace for 6 weeks. after she gets the brace off she will have to go 2-3 months with no physically straining activity.  this is really good news, because it could have been much worse.  we have been saying a lot of prayers of gratitude lately.  

do you believe in angels?  we do!  

i'm so glad my sisters are okay.

i don't wanna say goodbye to these faces:

family visit.

my family came to visit this weekend! it was the best weekend i've had in a long time.

we went shopping.

we saw BYU perform Shakespeare's "As You Like It."

we got to hang out with Ariel a little bit. 

we ate yummy food. 

we laughed a lot. 

it was the best :) 

hanging out with them is a party! 

buying oranges at "rancho market." 7 lbs for $1.  no, i'm not kidding. crazy!

kate opening the prize she bought for 50 cents. it's a squishy, purple thing!  

shalane keeping me updated on new music.

kate wearing her weird sunflower thing.

flashbacks.

pics i found on my cell phone...

the journalism women proclaim their love to Jordan Steele. 

three-legged monster pizza.

tiff and court take disgusting pics of themselves on my phone.

tiff and court try to make gordo stop being emo. 

brock reads a story. 

korey and i try to be attractive.

trevor, molly, and i sell ducks outside albertson's.