how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?

funny

Sometimes you get a little stressed out and do silly things.

For example, yesterday I was horrified as I began to change my clothes and realized that when I dressed myself that morning I had managed not only to put on one bra, but two bras. And the best part was that one bra was black and one was hot pink.  I'm not sure how my brain missed that...? I mean how do you NOT notice something like that?

Then today I cracked up when my mom said, "On Thursday, we'll go see that play, 'What to do about Nothing'"--she meant Shakespeare's "Much Ado About Nothing."

:D

Hope you all had a happy weekend as well.  I'm off to make some "gorilla poop" cookies (no-bake cookies) with all natural PB and some organic cane sugar, which I *hope* is better than refined sugar...

<3 Jenna

..

turn around

I love my roommates

Ariel, "Ultimate You" from Jenna Carson on Vimeo.

God's love

God’s love is greater than anything else.  We live in illusions made by man, but God’s love is Real and True.  God’s love is our guide, our light, our joy.  God’s love is Perfect when we are not.  God’s love Protects, Purifies, Transforms.  God’s love takes away feelings of fear, envy, doubt, hatred, unworthiness.  God’s love makes us Perfect in Him.  


And, as a best friend so beautifully said, "In the midst of the gravest 'danger,' with God it is possible to walk on with love and purity intact."


I like that.


<3 Jenna

why...

is my life so amazing?

I KNOW!  Because I share this happy life with so many incredible people.  People who stick it out with me, who love me till the end--and people who know that really, there is NO end.

We're in it together forever, everyone.

Thank you.  I love you all.

This song has been stuck in my head for about a week.  I know, I know.  I keep posting music.  It's one of the ways I'm speaking my language right now.

HAPPY WEDNESDAY!

friday morning

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you, tell you I need you

Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets, ask me your questions

Oh let's go back to the start

Running in circles, coming up tails

Heads only science apart

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing at numbers and figures

Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science, science and progress

Do not speak as loud as my heart

Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me

Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles, chasing our tails

Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy

It's such a shame for us to part

Nobody said it was easy

No one ever said it would be this hard

I'm going back to the start

I’m going back to you

Take me back

Take me back

Take me back to you

Take me back to the place where

I first loved you

I’m coming home to you

I’m going back to the start

"There are those who know from the start where they are going and those who only realize after the journey where they have been traveling.  I am one of the latter."

-Gerald Dworkin, The Theory and Practice of Autonomy

I love you

I love you
I love you
I love you

Just wanted to let you know (again)

:D

Delightful Life

de·light

  [dih-lahyt]

noun

1.

a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture.

2.

something that gives great pleasure.

There is something 100% wonderful about choosing to find DELIGHT in living.  Boring people might tell you it’s impossible, and that’s sad for them, cause here’s the truth: We can choose to live a 100% Delightful Life.

For example, a few moments ago I saw a good friend and was so DELIGHTED to see her that I started crying!  The boring Jenna would just be “happy” in this situation, but because I decided to find 100% Delight in living that moment, “happy” just wasn’t enough—I had to be DELIGHTED!  Embracing that Delight brought tears to my eyes and it felt good! 

Do we let ourselves get DELIGHTED?  Do we let ourselves experience a moment 100% and savor that moment until there is nothing else but that moment, that experience, that feeling, that awe of being able to breathe and see and hear and smell and taste and touch and move our legs and live our lives?  Or are we so numb, bored, tired, apathetic that Life does not feel Delightful anymore? 

Life is Delightful, and I am going to live it 100% even if that means going a bit bonkers sometimes--including crying, screaming in delight, laughing when I'm the only one laughing, talking to myself in public, etc. I will not waste precious moments in time by masking my emotions of Delight for the sake of “convention.”  

So anyway, after I saw my friend whom I thought was in Texas but was most definitely not in Texas—and then started crying—my day got even better when I saw an advertisement on campus for a forum entitled “Life’s Two Big Questions.”  Seeing that ad with the title of that forum was just DELIGHTFUL to me, because last time I checked, Life has more than two questions—many of which are VERY.BIG.  So this ad was Delightful because it was so ironic that it was absolutely hilarious, and so ridiculous and I wanted to talk to the guy who came up with this tile.  This thought was so funny to me that of course I had to double over, laugh out loud and exclaim, “That’s funny!” over and over. Because I was acting like this as I walked by a bus stop, plenty of strangers saw I was going bonkers, but guess what?  I was okay with it--because I Delighted in it.  Because in that moment, as I was laughing at the absolutely ridiculous forum entitled “Life’s Two Big Questions,” I realized Life is funny and that funniness is Delightful.  And in that moment as I fell so in love with being Delighted, I decided I want everyone to  Delight in Life with me.  So then I laughed myself to the library, accidently(?) went into the completely-silent-honors-reading-room (the one room in the library wherein you “have” to be completely silent) and exclaimed in a loud, high-pitched voice: “LIFE IS FUNNY!” and laughed and laughed and doubled over until I was crying (again).

The formerly silent room was no longer silent and people’s faces were looking at me with weird expressions, like "I do not appreciate you ruining my silence" and "girl, you are crazy," but I just thought, “You poor, poor people—you should be laughing with me.”  I left the room to get a drink of water, strutted back in like the Queen of Sheba, smiled at the girl who was (still) staring at me, and plopped down on a cozy chair, thoroughly pleased and at peace with myself and with the beautiful people around me, all my brothers and sisters.   They did not know it, but I was Delighting in them.  And someday we will all Delight together.  

Well, my friends, this was a piece of my Life today—and a 100% Delightful Life it is.  

His tender mercies are over all His works

"The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.  The Lord is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works" (Psalm 145:8-9).  

There are sweet moments in time that God gives us.  A few of mine lately:

-I ask my mom if she will read to me before bed.  “Right now?” she asks, knowing I'm not ready for bed. “In 10 minutes!  I’ll be ready.”  I say a prayer, wash my face, brush my teeth, turn my overhead light off and turn the bed-side lamp on.  (It ends up taking much longer than 10 minutes, but Mom pretends not to notice).  Mom comes in and we get as comfortable as possible on my twin-sized bed with two or three cats invading our space J  I can’t possibly pick just one book to read, so Mom decides.  I rest my head on her shoulder, listening to her words, trying not to fall asleep before she finishes the chapter. 

-2-year-old Krew puts his little arms around my legs.  I pick him up, he looks into my eyes, puts his hands on my cheeks, brings his forehead up to mine, puts his nose against mine, and just stays there for a moment with a big smile on his face, giggling of course.  He’s giving “kisses.”

-I step outside for a run and my legs feel like moving.  A few miles later, they still feel like moving(!) and I feel I could go forever.  I go faster and faster, feeling the joy of having this body God gave me.   

-My mom and I have been reading and writing in the living room since 8 p.m. (she on the couch and me beside the fireplace); suddenly it’s midnight and she’s tired, but rather than go to bed she stays on the coach and says, “I’ll just rest here for a while”—just to be around me.  I keep writing, Daisy the cat curls up next to my mom, and I wonder how I got an angel for a mother.  She'll wake up in an hour, I'll probably still be working at something, she'll yawn and get a drink of water--"aren't you getting up early?"--give me a hug, go put her pjs on and (finally) go to bed.  I smile.  I know later, when I'm gone, I'll miss this.  

-I go over to Krista’s just to chat.  We don’t need to go anywhere or do anything, just talk.  We drink herbal tea and coconut water, she cleans her fridge out, and I fold the laundry because hey, we might as well do something “productive” while we chat.  She tells me about missions and marriage and motherhood.

These are a few of God's sweet, tender mercies upon me lately.  What are yours? 

Lord, I will "speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power...Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing..." (Psalm 145: 11, 16). 

down in the river to pray

I recently came across a video I had recorded two years ago of friends trying to remember this song.  At the time we were laughing at them just cause they were so cute singing and trying to remember the words, so I wanted to find a "real" recording of the song to share--without the laughing and irreverence :)

I found this very beautiful version by Alison Krauss, and I particularly enjoyed the pics in this video, especially after taking an American Christianity class this semester.  Hope you enjoy as well.  <3

lets not be chameleons, then

"Being popular can become narcotic.  We can come to crave it and to need the frequent 'fixes' brought by the world's praise and caresses of recognition.  A turned head bows much less easily.  Popularity is dangerous especially because it focuses us on ourselves rather than keeping us attentive to the needs of others.  We become preoccupied with self and with being noticed, letting those in real need pass by us...


To like being liked for its own sake is unhealthy.  Similarly, overmuch concern with public image can cause us to rearrange priorities rather than striving to have Jesus' image in our countenance...


The narrow and straight way that leads to salvation, alas, is the path less traveled by.  Hence, there is no way we can both move with the herd and also move toward Jesus.  Nevertheless, there are some who try to serve the Lord without offending the devil...Firm followers of Jesus, therefore, will not be mere chameleons--adapting their colors to match the ever-chancing circumstances by simply blending in."  


-Neal A. Maxwell

2011 scrapbook (part II)

Part II of happy, wonderful things that happened in 2011:

October: I enjoy visits from dear friends and family.  Jared, Brian and Alex come to visit.  Shayna comes to visit and we attend general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake City with Ariel, Elise, Kaitlin, Cody and Russell.  Then, my family comes to visit and we go to the Salt Lake City Temple.  

Students at Independence High School throw me a goodbye party (I had spent a few weeks there observing and learning to teach in the classroom).  These students really make a difference in my life and I love them.  After my time at Independence, I begin a few new block classes and meet more great professors, one especially who changes my life.  I am so thankful for this.  

Roommates and I get ready for Halloween--we are the "Three Blind Mice"--and on a last-minute limb, we call Aaron and ask if he will be the farmer's wife. We STILL owe him for this one...

Alex, me and Brian in the Salt Lake City Temple visitor's center.
Here is a much better picture of the Christus statue.  

My "boyfriend" Justin Beibs,
gracing the freshman dorms with his presence.

Shayna, Kait, Me, Elise, Ariel outside of the LDS conference center in Salt Lake City 

Kali's "demon" eyes

Independence 

Abby, one of the kindest people I know  

I wasn't technically a "student teacher" but hey, that was really nice,
so thanks to whoever wrote these notes :)

Making our Halloween costumes the night before.
Aaron came over to try on his farmer's wife costume ;) 

Ariel making braids for the farmer's wife.  

Three Blind Mice

Three Blind Mice with the Farmer's Wife

Ariel with an award from our ward Halloween dance. 

November: I attend the Love and Fidelity Network's 4th annual conference "Sexuality, Integrity, and the University" at Princeton University.  Since it's so close to NYC, I get to spend two days there with friends!  The conference is a great experience and so is visiting NYC for the first time. 

I spend Thanksgiving with my family in Idaho and enjoy time with friends as well.  Over the break, my dad celebrates his 51st birthday and I celebrate my 21st birthday.  My real birthday is the 28th, the first day back to school, and my roommates make the day really special for me even though they're busy with classes :)  What wonderful friends I have!  

Megan and me at Princeton

Princeton campus

More beautiful Princeton campus

We attended mass at St. Paul's Church

St. Paul's Catholic Church

Times Square

The LDS Manhattan temple

Tom, Becca, Aaron, me 

Central Park

Untitled from Jenna Carson on Vimeo.
I really enjoyed listening to this man singing in the subway.  
Wanted to stick around just to listen...

A green smoothie.  I thought it was so pretty, I had to take a pic!

Thanksgiving break

My mom and me decorating the tree

For my Dad's and my birthday celebration, my mom thought it would be funny to put Kip in a bag and give him to us  :D

We really were surprised!


Alex is always making us laugh.  He came over to play "Killer Bunnies" and put on this headband Shayna gave me :) Love you, Alex!


Shayna and I made a lemon meringue pie


It was delicious!

Ariel surprised me with cupcakes :)  

My roommates surprised me with a new journal, stationary, and a book about the Atonement.
Thank you two!   

Roommates

December: Finals week!  I finish school and move home to Idaho for Christmas break and to stay there til I leave on a mission.  My family, friends and I enjoy a beautiful break.  MOLLY AND JEFF GET MARRIED!  And life is so, so good. :)  

Alex wanted to curl my hair so Kait let him do one piece :)

Christmas Eve--we just can't get a normal pic of Kait :)  She was making us laugh

My sweet parents :)  

Here's to another beautiful year!  

human nature

"Human nature is disposed to do good, just as water flows downward.  There is no man that does not show this tendency to goodness." 
-Mencius

mom, hide the vitamins

As I innocently opened the pantry for a calcium/magnesium supplement, I came across marvel heroes "gummies" vitamins.  Tried one of these little babies, and then went back for a handful...

How do kids not OD on these things?!

2011 scrapbook (part 1)

Here are some of the fun, happy, wonderful things that happened this year.  And yes, I'm posting pictures :) finally!  I'm sorry I didn't post pictures more throughout the year.  This makes up for it. :D


January: Back to Brigham Young University (in Provo, Utah) after a semester-long study abroad in Jerusalem.  The study abroad was INCREDIBLE but it's good to be back at BYU, too.  I move into an apartment with two amazing women, Elise and Ariel.

February:  School, school and more school.  And temple trips with roommates :)

Elise, Ariel and me outside the Provo temple

March: School continues.  (I love my classes and my professors!)  Ariel and Elise keep the white-board lively with important reminders ;)

Ariel writes inspirational messages and Elise illustrates

April: Mom celebrates her 51st birthday! Ariel, Elise and I attend general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Winter semester ends at BYU and I stay for spring term.  

Me, Elise, Ariel at the conference center
with the beautiful Salt Lake City temple in the background

May: The weather warms up and I enjoy hiking with friends.  School continues, so I enjoy long days of reading homework outside on our apartment's small balcony.  Also, my hair goes platinum blonde after hours in the salon with one very tenacious hair stylist (Amy, thank you!!) and I've finally done just about everything I've ever wanted to do with my hair (besides dreadlocks).  Platinum blonde was the last thing on my to-do list--which included blue, pink, and yellow colors over the years--and a fohawk.  How I miss the fohawk...  

More importantly, my cousin, Christy, gets married!  Uncle Chance and Aunt Diane come to visit from Colorado.  And Kaitlin turns 18!  

Hiking in rock canyon with Megan and Debbie

My blonde hair

Reading Austen's Persuasion

Me, Uncle Chance, Kait, Shalane

June:  The spring term ends.  More hiking in beautiful Utah before I head home to Idaho for the summer.   My family picks me up from school and we head down to St. George, Utah, to enjoy family time before my mom's back surgery.  We have a great time!  One of the highlights is Zion National Park.

Hiking with my good friend, Mary, who got married shortly after this hiking trip.
 So happy for her!

I love these mountains


My sisters and me in Zion National Park

My dad and sisters in Zion National Park

July: Ariel comes to visit me in Idaho and we enjoy 4th of July celebrations together.  We also throw Shalane a surprise 16th birthday party!  Later in July, Mom and I head to Utah for mom's surgery.  A few days after the surgery, my mom and I head back to Idaho and Grandma Walters comes from Michigan to visit to help out.  We love having her with us.  (My mom is still in a lot of pain, but doing somewhat better.  We're not sure what will happen next, but she keeps a positive attitude and keeps her spirit of love and joy.  She is my hero!)

Shalane at her party.  Yes, she wore the funny hat we gave her (for a little while) :) 

Kait and friends enjoying good food and good company

Ariel and me mixing virgin drinks.  

The vitamix came in handy for this!

Grandma and Kip

August: On a whim, I have my hair dyed to a light brown color.  I fly to Kentucky to visit my Grandma Carson for a week, and we have a lovely time together.  I enjoy spending time with old friends and visiting places from my childhood. I then get to go to Michigan to visit my family there.  Shalane meets me in Michigan and we enjoy time with our family.  Uncle George and Aunt Kelly graciously take us on their road-trip out to Ohio for a wedding.  We enjoy getting to know our family better (we miss them here in Idaho!) and we visit great places, including D.C. and Virginia beach.  The highlight of our trip is our stay in North Carolina, where we enjoy days of beautiful beaches and wildlife.   

Shalane and me outside the D.C. temple

Shalane, me, Uncle George flying a kite
in Nags Head, NC (we love it here!)

Moon jellyfish 

Me and Shalaney enjoying a beautiful beach at Nags Head

Aunt Kelly and me up for sunrise

Aunt Kelly and Uncle George

Me, Shalane, Uncle George at one of the best places I've eaten 

Shalane enjoying an evening walk

We stopped on the way to Ohio to enjoy a short hike and view of the Appalachian Mountains

Aunt Kelly and me

With Grandma Walters on Gun Lake (in Michigan)

Shalane and Grandma Walters

Me, cousin Tyson, Shalane

Later in August: I apply to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I enjoy time with my good friends the Weimer family; Shalane begins school and we attend her first cross country meet of the seasons (the "mud run"); Kaitlin and I head back to Provo for Kait's freshman year and my junior year (what?!) of college.  And, of course, my hair color changes again to a very dark, rich brown.  Thanks, Amy. :)

Rees cooking breakfast (she is a pretty impressive 7-year-old)

Kait and one of Sammy's dogs
(Sammy's cute doggies invade our household one day.
Our cats freak out a little--but we love them!)

Krew and Kendyl

The Weimer children and me (minus Krew)  

The new dark hair color 

Me, Shalane, and Kait at the XC mud run--taken BEFORE the muddiness begins :)

September: Back to Provo for school, again living with dear friends Ariel and Elise, but this time we have a new roommate: Ariel's cat, Kalamazoo (or "Kali").  She is a diva and we love her.  I (not-so-patiently) wait to receive my mission call in the mail.  In the meantime, I begin a wonderful semester. A few weeks later, my call comes and there is (much) rejoicing!! I find out I'm leaving in February and I'm going to Tampa, Florida--and it's a Spanish-speaking mission--YES!!!!

Kali assuming her most comfortable position--and making herself quite at home--in my bedroom

Different family members and friends guess where I might go on my mission.  

Both Shalane (aka "Boohbah") and Dad guess correctly!  I'm going to Florida!! 

Kait and me holding my mission call :D :D :D